Saturday, March 10, 2007

A NEW GAME IN TOWN




March 10, 2007 (GBN News): Capitalizing on the national visibility of New York City’s educational reforms, Parker Brothers, makers of Monopoly, announced today that they will be producing a new game based on the city’s education system. Entitled “Children First: A Game of Irony”, the game is slated to come out in time for the 2007-2008 school year. According to a company spokesperson, this will be a board game, the object of which will be to amass the highest number of points, which in the game are referred to as “test scores”.

The rules of the new game will have a number of unique features. One player will be designated the “Chancellor”. Similar to the banker in Monopoly, this player will control and disburse money, often in the form of no-bid contracts. In one of the more unusual aspects of the game, the “Chancellor” will also have the right to change the rules of the game at any time while the game is in progress. The only condition is that he or she cannot inform any of the other players of the rule change until after the changes are implemented. Any part of the game is subject to change, including the board and the positioning of the pieces. Anyone who dares to question any of the rules changes made by the "Chancellor" is called “a defender of the status quo” and is immediately ejected from the game. Another player will be designated the “Mayor”. The “Mayor” does not actually participate in the game, but has veto power over the “Chancellor’s” decisions and also has the right to declare himself the winner.

The game is expected to retail for $34.95. A computer version will also be available, at the cost of $80,000,000.

UPDATE: See latest GBN bulletin.

96 comments:

Leonie Haimson said...

Also: anyone who criticizes any of the rule changes will be labeled "a defender of the status quo" and immediately ejected from the game.

Pissedoffteacher said...

and if you criticize, you will be told to sit down and shut up

Maria Dapontes-Dougherty said...

Go to Jail is for the UFT and "powerless parent puppets"

Gary Babad said...

"Get Out of Jail Free" is for Alvarez and Marsal. "Just Visiting" is obviously not for the "Mayor" since he'll be in Florida.

Anonymous said...

We received your "urgent" letter stating basically that the "sky is falling". There is absolutely no information supplied by these letters as to substantiating these claims. On the contrary. Everything that we are told might end, the current administration in PS xxx is on the record for eliminating. eg: the Tag program. Please don't play this game suggesting the elimination of this is from the higher-ups when we know it's locally generated.

Parent involvement within the school has been all but eliminated. Again, this is not a function of the district, but at the school level where the local administrations would rather not deal with parents out of expediency for their jobs, not out of interest for the students' well-being.

Whereas parents were once welcomed into the schools and family involvement enhanced student performance and increased parental donations, the schools now only have their hands out while setting up layer upon layer of obstruction when parents wish to have some involvement. This has all been wrongly attributed to increased security since 9/11.

Why are the concerns of children not addressed in real time? The standardized exams are not graded with any form of urgency. By the time the results are given to the families it is nearly a year after the tests are taken. How does this help children and their families and teachers in a timely fashion? It is only used to gauge how much money a school receives with little if any regard for addressing students with immediate needs.

So when we receive an urgent plea from the school how does the school expect us to respond? They want complete and blind support when they only look upon our children with the same regard as a clerk has when stocking groceries in the local supermarket. I'll gladly hold the ladder if you stop dropping the cans on my head.

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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C++ should have been called B

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All generalizations are false, including this one.

Anonymous said...

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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