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Tuesday, May 22, 2007


May 22, 2007 (GBN News): The White House announced today that New York City Schools Chancellor Joel Klein has been appointed “War Czar” to oversee both the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts. Mr. Klein will replace Lt. General Douglas Lute, who had held the job for the past two days. According to White House spokesman Tony Snow, President Bush was said to be impressed with Mr. Klein’s emphasis on the importance of accountability in the NY City school system, and his belief in motivating good performance through the threat of dire consequences. He also said the President feels that Mr. Klein “acts more like a czar than General Lute”.

Under the terms of his appointment, Mr. Klein will continue to have the sort of absolute power that he has exercised in the school system, power that he feels he will need to prosecute the nation’s two wars. However, Mr. Snow was quick to point out that along with that power comes accountability, and the President will expect of Mr. Klein the same sort of performance standards that the Chancellor requires of New York City school principals.

The White House statement said that the new War Czar will be evaluated every four to six weeks on the basis of a “war report card”. He will receive grades ranging from “A” to “F” on such dimensions as US casualty count, number of insurgents killed, wounded or captured, number of insurgent attacks, and number of weapons such as cell phones captured or confiscated. 85% of the total grade will be based on these measurable outcomes. The other 15% of the grade will be based on satisfaction surveys. Of these, 5% will come from the troops, 5% from Iraqi and Afghan civilians, and 5% from the insurgents. If there is no measurable improvement with each assessment, Mr. Klein will lose his job.

Mr. Klein will have the opportunity to receive assistance and logistics advice from his choice of WSO (War Support Organization). He can choose an experienced, battle tested mentor such as Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. Alternatively, he can avail himself of a private, not for profit organization such as the National Rifle Association or a for-profit group such as one sponsored by Soldier of Fortune Magazine.

Reaction in Congress was mixed. Some legislators applauded the fact that there will finally be a series of interim standards set for the prosecution of the war, something many have long been demanding. However, others said that having an autocrat heading up the war effort would send the wrong signal to a part of the world that already resents our intervention. And, there was concern in the New York delegation that if Mr. Klein ended up being fired, he would return to his position as Schools Chancellor, which many feel would be an unconstitutional “cruel and unusual punishment” for innocent city schoolchildren.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I thought that was very funny.