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Friday, November 12, 2010

A Black to School Treat

November 12, 2010 (GBN News): While Catherine Black has been exceedingly tight-lipped since Mayor Bloomberg named her to be NY City Schools Chancellor, GBN News has learned that the Chancellor-in-Waiting is already planning her first new initiative to raise attendance and student motivation.

According to a source at the DOE, the new Chancellor plans to utilize one of her recent business innovations, an iPad application designed to offer daily sex tips. “This could entirely revolutionize the Health Education curriculum,” the spokesperson told GBN News. “As Cathie herself has said, the $2.99 app is ‘cheaper than a hooker’. Kids will look forward to coming to school every day. They won’t want to miss a trick, so to speak.”

J. Fredrick Runson, professor of education at Manhattan University, feels that Ms. Black’s initiative should quiet the “naysayers” who contended that her background in business would not lend itself to curriculum development. However, he did point out one potential catch. “She might have to revisit the DOE policy of no electronic devices in schools,” he told GBN News. “If they don’t allow kids to view the sex tips on their iPads, they might just have to use actual hookers – and I don’t think they have the budget for that.”

In a related story, GBN News has learned that Ms. Black plans to name former Governor Elliott Spitzer as her new Deputy Chancellor.