Memo to all NY City School Principals: From Chancellor Joel Klein

GBN News has obtained a draft memo from Chancellor Klein, detailing a new Department of Education initiative which appears to be part of Mayor Bloomberg's plan to improve achievement through financial incentives. The text of the memo follows:

I am pleased to announce to you a new financial incentive program for children and parents. We expect that this program will substantially improve students’ academic performance by providing financial rewards for behaviors and achievements which further children’s learning and parental involvement in their education. Please bear in mind that the expenses incurred from this program will be charged to your school’s budget. But the test results will be well worth it! And you will then be able to offset the costs by cutting teaching positions. After all, with incentives like these, larger classes will be no deterrent to learning.

Effective immediately, each school will provide the following cash incentives for the behaviors and achievements listed below:

•Take interim assessment: $5
•Achieve perfect score on interim assessment: $50
•Use #2 pencil: $2.50 per exam
•Attend test prep class: $25
•Get library card: $25
•Register with DOE website: $25
•Demonstrate ability to make sense of DOE website: $50
•Attend parent teacher conference:
Elementary School: $50
Middle School/High School: $10 per subject teacher
•Attend PTA meeting: $25 plus cake and coffee
•Use Metro Card instead of school bus:
Child over 10 years old: $50
Child under 10 years old: $100
•Turn in cell phone: $100 ($200 for a two year plan)
•Conform to school’s dress code (or wear school uniform, where applicable): $1 per day
•Spell name correctly: $.15 per occurrence
•Raise hand in class: $.10 per occurrence
•Raise hand in class for reason other than going to the bathroom: $.25 per occurrence
•Homework completed on time: $1 per occurrence, up to a maximum of $20 per month
•Neatness: Counts, but no reward (unfunded mandate)
•Write letter to Times, Daily News, or Post praising “Children First” reforms: $500

As you can see, parents and children together can earn thousands of dollars through this incentive program (more by giving up a two year cell phone plan). They can get a taste of the way it is to be rich like the Mayor and myself. And if that’s not an incentive to love learning, I don’t know what is!