GBN Newsflash: Afternoon Test Results Are In

September 5, 2007 (GBN News): GBN News has learned exclusively that based on this afternoon’s ARIS computer “real time" test results, six more school principals are being fired at the end of the school day. According to a source at the DOE, the principals were cited for their schools’ “insufficient progress” since this morning’s testing.

In other news, the DOE has reportedly given an $18 million no-bid contract to A&M Urology Group, a Manhattan based medical practice, to investigate ARIS data showing excessive bathroom visits in a number of middle schools and high schools.