Damn Mikey

August 3, 2009 (GBN News): Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s refusal to rule out what many consider to be premature talk of a fourth term may be due to a deal the Mayor is said to have made with a shadowy figure known only as “Mr. Applegate”. A source close to the Mayor told GBN News that Mr. Bloomberg has confided to a small circle of intimate associates that the deal guarantees he will remain Mayor of New York for all eternity. However, the agreement comes with a catch. The moment the Mayor loses control of the city’s public schools, his soul will belong to “Mr. Applegate”.

GBN News spoke about this chilling possibility to J. Fredrick Runson, chairman of the Parapsychology Department at Manhattan University, who said this is not the first time that the man known as “Mr. Applegate” has intervened in New York affairs. Following are excerpts from this interview:

GBN News: This sounds almost like the plot line for “Damn Yankees”. Who is this guy Applegate?

Runson: That show was fiction, of course. But what many people don’t realize is that the “Applegate” character was based on reality. Is the real Applegate really the devil, like in the show? Nobody knows for sure. But he actually did try to destroy the New York Yankees, and more times than anybody realizes.

GBN: You mean …?

Runson: Who do you think distracted Ralph Terry in ’60 so Mazeroski could hit that home run to beat the Yankees in the series? Or set up Steinbrenner and Billy Martin for all those conflicts in the '70’s? Or broke the “Curse of the Bambino” in '04? It takes a certain kind of insider knowledge to break a curse like that.

GBN: And now he’s getting involved in politics?

Runson: He’s obviously trying to capitalize on Bloomberg’s gigantic ego, and is looking to control him by dangling a permanent mayoralty in front of him. You’re obviously wondering what Applegate would want from a nebishy billionaire with a Napoleon complex. Well, it’s only speculation, but I’ve studied this Applegate guy for a long time, and this thing goes far beyond Bloomberg, I can assure you of that.

GBN: Then why is he focusing on Mayoral control of the schools, and not something bigger?

Runson: Look at what the Mayor’s done with his control of the schools. He’s sapped all the joy from education. Turned kids into testing robots. Taken away all independent thought and creativity. And this is exactly what Applegate’s after. You see, it’s the children’s souls he wants, not the Mayor’s! Bloomberg’s only a tool. The more you keep children from learning to think for themselves, the more likely they are to grow up vulnerable to those who try to control them and use them for their own purposes. And their souls drain away into oblivion.

GBN: Why is Applegate focusing on New York? Why not the rest of the country?

Runson: You don’t think Michelle Rhee got where she is on her own, do you? And how do you think Arne Duncan managed to become Secretary of Education even after screwing up the Chicago schools so badly? Talk about a nation at risk! Applegate started with Bloomberg because he knew his ego, money and PR ability would enable him to spread his version of school reform all over the nation. It sure makes Applegate’s job a lot easier.

GBN: Is there any hope for our kids?

Runson: “Damn Yankees” had a happy ending. Let’s just hope the reality version does too.