DOE Packs ’em In

September 18, 2009 (GBN News): In the face of heavy criticism by furious parents and beleaguered teachers, the NY City Department of Education has taken a major step towards dealing with the issue of overcrowding in the city’s classrooms. Class size has exploded all over the city, with over 7200 classes over the contractual limit. But Schools Chancellor Joel Klein told reporters today that the DOE has contracted with the King Oscar Sardine Company to implement what he termed “creative solutions” to the problem.

“It’s really just a space management problem,” said the Chancellor. “The King Oscar folks have assured us that there is excess space all over the place that can be better utilized.” Mr. Klein said that the new plans are already being implemented, citing at least one classroom where children are sitting in the previously wasted space behind the blackboard.

The no-bid contract with King Oscar has already come under fire from some critics, but Chancellor Klein was ready with a response. “The company is a proven leader in space utilization,” he said. “Nobody fits them in better than King Oscar.”

In a related story, the Panel for Educational Policy, who must approve all contracts over $1 million, met in a special emergency session to approve the King Oscar deal. Company personnel were present to demonstrate their expertise by setting up the Panel’s new meeting room, formerly a coat closet at Tweed Courthouse.