DOE Names Chief Gullibility Officer

November 26, 2008 (GBN News): Saying that education is “all about second chances”, Schools Chancellor Joel Klein announced that one of the turkeys being pardoned today by President Bush in a White House ceremony has been named “Chief Gullibility Officer” for the Department of Education. While the specific responsibilities of the $150,000 a year position were not publicly spelled out, a source at the DOE told GBN News that the turkey will likely be a DOE liason with MASS (Mayoral Accountability for School Success), an organization established by Mayor Bloomberg to maintain control of the city schools. MASS, through the website “LearnNY”, uses a massive public relations campaign to create the illusion of success for DOE policies. Mr. Klein was said to feel that a “gullibility officer” is needed to insure the credibility of this PR campaign with the public and the press.

GBN News asked J. Fredrick Runson, head of the Political Science department at Manhattan University, if a turkey can possibly manage such a challenging responsibility. “I don’t see why not”, said Professor Runson. “If a monkey can predict school progress as well as the DOE does, a turkey can certainly do as well with the Department’s credibility.”

In what would be a “lateral move”, the Obama transition office announced today that Chancellor Klein is being seriously considered as one of the turkeys for next year’s White House pardoning ceremony.