Cathie Goes to School

November 30, 2010 (GBN News): NY City Chancellor-designate Cathie Black experienced her first ever visit to a public school today. Breaking a weeks-long silence, she pronounced the visit to PS109 in the Bronx “exciting” as she entered the building. “I’ve passed by public schools so often,” she told reporters. “I can’t believe I’m actually going inside one.”

Upon emerging from the school ten minutes later, Ms. Black immediately demonstrated the acute business acumen for which Mayor Michael Bloomberg appointed her. “What an inefficient use of space!” she exclaimed. “Why, you can squeeze a awful lot more kids in there and make teaching them much more cost effective.”

The Chancellor-to-be belied her detractors’ concerns that she would be insensitive to the needs of parents. “The parents I met all told me they want smaller class size,” she said. “Well, I saw a lot of places in there that are much smaller than the classes they’re using; closets, boiler rooms, even bathrooms. I guess it takes a business person to figure out that we can give their parents what they want by putting the kids in those rooms, while saving the big classrooms for Eva, like Mike said for me to do to.”

Ms. Black even garnered some teaching experience during her short visit. After she successfully read “My Pet Goat” to a first grade class, Mayor Bloomberg declared that her newfound classroom experience now “totally qualifies” her for the Chancellorship, even without the waiver granted earlier by the State Education Commissioner.