On the 20th anniversary of 9/11, NYC teacher Roe Wrubel and her poem, "I Got my Wish the Wrong Way"

Ronit (Roe) Wrubel was my daughter's 1st and 2nd grade teacher at PS 3 in Greenwich Village more than twenty years ago.  Roe was the first person to talk to me about the importance of class size when she had 29 students in her class, and she talked to me about how much easier it was when one or two children were absent because it made all the difference in the world in being able to teach the rest of them effectively.  Roe was the best teacher at PS 3, and later moved to teach at PS 89 in Tribeca.

Today is the 20th anniversary of 9/11, and there's a must read article in Good Housekeeping about how on that fateful day, Roe protected her 3rd grade students at PS 89 when the World Trade Center towers were hit and collapsed.  It describes how she lowered the blinds in the classroom after the first tower was hit, took her students to the gym and distracted them while waiting for their parents to pick them up.  She and another parent then walked the remaining students uptown to PS 3.  So many teachers were heroes that day and during the following weeks, and continued to do their jobs in the face of immense trauma, just as they have continued to do their jobs during the ongoing pandemic.

After 9/11, the PS 89 building became the Command Center for  rescue efforts, and its teachers and students moved to PS 3 for a few months.  The following  year, so many families had moved away from the neighborhood that Roe only had 11 children in her class. The piece below, "Getting My Wish the Wrong Way", was written in Jan. 2002.  

Last year, some teachers commented that the only good thing about their classes was how small they were, with 60% of students staying home engaged in remote learning and six feet of social distancing enforced in classrooms.  

This year, if there are smaller classes , it will not be because of any efforts the administration has made to lower class size, but because many parents may have moved out of the city or are too afraid to send their kids back into overcrowded schools.  

It is heartbreaking that the only time most NYC students are able to experience the profound benefits of smaller classes and teachers who have time to spend with each of them individually is when tragedies like 9/11 or the Covid pandemic hit our city.

Getting My Wish The Wrong Way

by Ronit Wrubel 

In the center of my backpack sits a rather worn button, emblazoned with the words: CLASS SIZE MATTERS. A long ago gift from a group of dedicated parents working diligently to fight the good fight.

Every teacher knows, unequivocally, that the number of students in a classroom directly affects the breadth and depth of support and guidance that can be provided to those students. No matter what their academic or social/emotional needs, class size does matter.

I realized this early on, back in my student teaching days. I lived this, year in and year out, teaching classes full of at least 28 amazing children, with myriad strengths, and myriad needs. I could only spread myself so thin, I could only give so much. Though I tried. Every second hoping I could do more for them, be more for them, share more with them, learn more from them. 

Class size became my mantra. The soap box I stood on and preached from, for anyone who would listen. The scope of things I wanted to do for my students; to help them develop their independence, express their individuality, become full members of our class community, and achieve the heights of their potential; was tamped down because of sheer numbers. Too many subjects, not enough time. Too many necessities, not enough time. Too many possibilities, not enough time. Too many students, not enough time. 

If only there were less of them, I knew I could make more of a difference. I knew it with my mind. I knew it with my heart. I knew it with my soul.

And then it happened. I got my wish.

11 children remaining in my class. 

11 wonderful children. 11 energetic children. 11 bright children. 11 dedicated children. 

11 traumatized children.

“Please meet me on the rug, RIGHT NOW. Leave your books where they are. Come close. COME CLOSER.”

“There was an accident at the World Trade Center. I don’t know exactly what happened. There’s a fire. You’re going to hear a lot of sirens. The fire department and police department and ambulance workers are on their way to help out. It’s going to be noisy. We’re almost three blocks away. We’re safe.” 

I got my wish the wrong way.

The World Trade Center blew up. The towers collapsed in front of our eyes. They FELL. We ran for our lives. We got away.

My students going through it all, way too young, on September 11th. Clinging, Crying, Screaming, Frozen. Each child eventually got picked up by a family member. Safely out of our building; or later safely out of our evacuation site. But they couldn’t go home. Not for days, not for weeks, not for months. Battery Park City was GROUND ZERO; the FROZEN ZONE. Our school was the COMMAND CENTER. Our lives were CHANGED FOREVER.

Every family made their own decisions. “Where will we be safe? Where will we live? Where should my child go to school?” As time went by, my class grew smaller, and my heart grew wearier. 

With excitement and anticipation in late August I set up my room, and we started a class. With apprehension and bewilderment in mid-September at another school building, I set up a sparse room, we started over. With exhaustion and intensity in late October at an uncrowded school building, I set up a new classroom, we started over yet again. Then an additional move loomed on the horizon, back home- with questions of safety- with questions of change- with questions of the past and the future. So, with determination and expectation in February, I packed up, I set up my original classroom again, and we started over one more time. 

Through it all the children left.

Slowly dispersing. 

Around the city.

Around the state.

Around the country.

Around the world.

Now, there are 11 children in my class. I can spend more time with them. I can meet with small groups. I can listen to more ideas. I can have more conferences. I can review their work more carefully. I got my wish.

I can watch for signs of trauma. I can listen to more tales of that day, and the days that have followed. I can see their fear. Can they see mine?

Now, there are 11 children in my class. I got my wish.

I got my wish the wrong way.

Ronit M. Wrubel, Teacher - P.S. 89 

New York City, January 2002

 

A NYC teacher's response to the publishing of her confidential -- and unreliable -- data report

Roe Wrubel is currently a 4th grade teacher.  My daughter was lucky to have Roe as her teacher in the 1st and 2nd grades. Her talent and commitment encapsulates everything that is great about the profession. For those who are interested, Roe's TDR came out far above average.  But that did not prevent her from being distressed about its release and publication.  She posted the below eloquent remarks next to her TDR on the NY Times website.  With her permission, I am reprinting them here:
 

I truly don't have the words to express the enormity of how this small act, this one 'report', this blip that's been added to the overwhelming archive that is the world wide web, encapsulates all that is wrong with how the public views the science and the art of the educator.  In my 24 years as a NYC public school teacher I have never been so disheartened, so demoralized, so utterly disappointed and felt so completely hopeless.

The release of the Teacher Data Reports on February 24 makes no sense to me. When information has been proven to be inaccurate, when sample sizes are statistically insignificant, and when 18,000 out of 75,000 teachers are singled out, yet the data is still released, the precedent that is being set undermines what tens of thousands of teachers have dedicated their lives to doing. The Value-added model also almost ignores student performance, focusing mostly on progress. If a student scores well on the third grade test, they and their teacher are penalized if they get even one less question correct on the fourth grade test, which, by the way, is significantly harder than the third grade test. Now if I’ve helped my students grow a year’s worth, why would I be penalized for that?

Most educators I know, and I know quite a few, are exceptional, dedicated, intelligent, diligent, caring and honest people. NYC public school teachers have been working under an expired contract, for wages that do not match neighboring school districts, at rates that do not even begin to approach inflation in these harsh economic times, and do so with a smile on their faces as their students enter their classrooms on a daily basis.

This cowardly and appalling act was my proverbial straw. We teachers put enough pressure on ourselves as we strive to do better for our students every, every, every single day. I know many of my colleagues feel the same way as I do. For all of us to be demoralized yet again, and so publicly, is utterly heartbreaking. We know 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas', but what happens on the Internet lives forever.

I often feel frustrated as a teacher because I can never do enough, be enough or give enough to my students, although I try. I spend hours and hours beyond the school day and every weekend doing everything I can to help my students grow as independent, responsible, inquisitive learners. I am always preparing lessons, corresponding with parents, making charts, hanging bulletin boards, developing and refining curriculum, reading and responding to the work of my students, and I do it all because it’s what I believe my students deserve. I commute over three hours a day to work with the exceptional teachers, staff and administrators in my school because I want to always learn and think and grow myself.

Why is no one talking about class size anymore? If I had fewer students in my class, I promise you that I could give them more attention, and help them move forward in their skills much more easily. Blaming teachers for the failings of the education system, the testing and scoring process, and the economic climate will not in any way help children!

Unless you live the life of an educator, even the most well-informed and well-meaning individuals just don't get it. We put our heart and souls into teaching the whole child, and yet are judged so arbitrarily, unfairly and now, publicly. I have no problem being evaluated by my administrators. And if any of them wanted to reveal what they think of me as a teacher to families, good or bad, I would welcome it. They know me, and they know my students, and they see the whole picture, and they know the effort I put into reflecting upon and refining my pedagogy every hour of every day. I wish there were more people out there advocating for teachers who really understood and could express the realities of what education and educators can and cannot be.

I am shocked that many of the media outlets and all of the politicians are ignoring the current super-sized testing that will be taking place in New York state in April of 2012 in favor of giving credence to the release of outdated and relatively meaningless data. While my fourth grade students are taking the ELA test, for example, they will be reading 13 passages (including the listening selection which requires note-taking), answering 57 multiple-choice questions, writing answers to 7 short-response questions and composing 2 extended-response essays over the course of three days of testing.

That testing will last approximately 175 minutes. While they are taking the State Math tests they will be asked to solve 62 multiple choice questions, solve and explain their thinking for 5 short response questions and carefully solve 4 extended, multi-step response questions, all covering multiple strands of mathematics. They will have 180 minutes, exactly three hours, to do so over the course of three days. Just thinking about all of that work in such a short amount of time makes me tired! The stamina involved is almost impossible for a nine or ten year old child to muster. I might fade under the same circumstances.

Not only that, but these scores will determine what middle school a child gets into. Now they will also determine whether or not a teacher is considered effective as well. There are approximately 59,000 minutes in a school year, not including lunch and recess. These tests cover 350 minutes in the life of a student. This is what determines the value of a child’s skills and now a teacher’s skills. The flaws are in the testing system and in the evaluation of that testing, not in the work of dedicated teachers.

I want students to learn and I want educators and education to get better for all students. Why can’t we find real solutions to real problems, instead of placing blame, instigating panic, and scoring political points on the backs of those who care the most and work the hardest?  I am still confused about how releasing this data, that was intended for internal use and meant to inform instruction, holds any value to parents. The information does not give a true picture of an educator; the inaccuracies actually perpetuate false information. How will that help a parent to support their child’s learning development? Parents also do not and should not choose who their child’s teacher is. With this made up ammunition, parents will be trying to have their child’s class changed, all for no particular reason.

The philosophical underpinnings of how I teach are antithetical to what has happened with this data being released to the public. I believe in child-centered, inquiry based, socially responsible and reflective learning to help create the kind of thinkers and citizens our society needs and deserves. Children have a natural quest for learning and a desire to be a part of a learning community. It is my job, no, my pleasure, to help usher my students towards living the lives of dedicated, engaged and thoughtful learners. The entirety of what I am tasked to do, and the reality of the circumstances of the daily lives of children and families, are really all I'm concerned about. Bravo to all of the teachers out there who continue to play the role of Sisyphus yet again. I for one will keep pushing that boulder up the hill until I get it to reach the other side.

If they would only listen to teachers....

As LouAnne Johnson, teacher and author of “Dangerous Minds” once wrote, “When classes are small enough to allow individual student-teacher interaction, a minor miracle occurs: Teachers teach and students learn.”

Yet in in NYC and nationwide, several very different theories of “individualized” instruction have been tried and failed: small schools (even though teaching and learning happen in classrooms, not in hallways or offices); and then intensive data analysis, via teacher “data inquiry teams,” (ditto).

Now online learning is expanding rapidly, with the claim that it will allow for more “personalized” instruction, even though a real live teacher person is being replaced with a machine.

Meanwhile, class sizes continue to grow each day, with policymakers and so-called “experts” denying that this will have a hugely detrimental effect on the quality of education.

In Idaho, the Superintendent of Instruction is proposing to increase class sizes, and with the savings, provide laptops to students, and institute online learning and teacher merit pay -- none of which have any track record of success. In NYC, the Department of Education plans to spend $1 billion next year in capital funds on more technology, so virtual instruction through computers can be implemented in 200 schools, and 400 schools thereafter.

In Texas, legislators have proposed scrapping the long-standing class size limit of 22 per class in grades K-4, which began in the 1980’s and made Texas schools among the highest achieving in the nation, particularly for poor and minority students.

If they would only listen to teachers.

Yesterday, a Texas teacher named John Young recalled how he suddenly discovered how much more easily he could reach his students when only half of them showed up, A snow day, a lesson in class size:

My intuition now tells me that those who trivialize class size aren't as interested in student success as their dime-store slogans say….. Class size matters. Anyone who believes otherwise ought to try saddling up 25 mounts from differing starting points and riding them to one destination.

Many teachers over the years have noticed the same thing; it’s suddenly easier to reach your students, particular the most challenging ones, when an event strikes unexpectedly that causes fewer of them to attend class.

Roe Wrubel, a NYC teacher echoed these sentiments, at a forum that Class Size Matters held a few years ago. She read her essay about her experience of suddenly having her class shrink in size, after 9/11:

Too many subjects, not enough time. Too many necessities, not enough time. Too many possibilities, not enough time. Too many students, not enough time.If only there were less of them, I knew I could make more of a difference. I knew it with my mind. I knew it with my heart. I knew it with my soul. And then it happened. I got my wish.

For the rest, check out Getting My Wish The Wrong Way .