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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Was it the Bird? Was it the Plane? No, it was Super-Mayor!

September 2, 2009 (GBN News): A recent New York Post report appears to blame a “kamikaze bird” for an incident involving Mayor Bloomberg’s plane on the way to Senator Ted Kennedy’s funeral. However, the results of an FAA investigation tell an entirely different story, one which could prove embarrassing for the Mayor in an election year.

The FAA report, obtained by GBN News, finds that the Mayor’s plane “deliberately targeted a flock of Canada geese, striking one directly with the engine, killing the bird instantly.” The report was forwarded to the NY State Department of Environmental Conservation, which immediately slapped the Mayor and his entire party with a fine for “hunting out of season, and without a license”.

A spokesperson for the Mayor categorically denied that Mr. Bloomberg’s plane purposely targeted the ill-fated bird. But an FAA official, speaking to GBN News on condition of anonymity, said the investigation showed that the Mayor had clearly demanded that the pilot go after the birds. When asked why Teachers Union President Randi Weingarten, traveling with the Mayor, was included in the charges, the official said, “She acts in such lockstep with the Mayor over education issues, we just assumed she’d do the same in this situation.”

J. Fredrick Runson, head of the School of Veterinary Medicine at Manhattan University, was asked why the Mayor would choose this particular method of hunting. “It’s just typical Bloomberg overkill,” he told GBN News. “Why use a mere rifle when you’ve got an entire jet plane at your disposal? It’s no different from the way he uses his billions to go after political opponents. Won’t even give them a sporting chance.”


Picaro said...

I think we need to create a memorial for the bird. Better luck nest time!

Anonymous said...

you are such a loser