Circus Comes to Town

June 27, 2009 (GBN News): A Federal Circuit Court judge has stepped into the NY State legislative leadership crisis by effectively putting the NY State Senate under the control of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. In what many political observers were calling a “an unusual and creative solution” to the weeks-long gridlock in the Senate, the judge gave Kenneth Feld, Chairman of Feld Entertainment, Inc., the circus’ parent company, the de facto powers of Lieutenant Governor. By virtue of his ability to break a tie, Mr. Feld will now hold the balance of power in the sharply divided upper chamber.

The most dramatic result of this new arrangement will be its effect on Mayoral control of the NY City schools. Mr. Feld’s first act was to broker a deal to replace Mayoral control with Circus control, and to name Marcus B. Mosshead, a senior Ringling Brothers clown, as the new Schools Chancellor. Mr. Mosshead will have full authority over the Department of Education, and can only be removed by a pie in the face.

J. Fredrick Runson, Chairman of the Education Department of Manhattan University, was asked what effect this change in leadership will have on the DOE. “On the surface, one wouldn’t expect much difference,” Dr. Runson told GBN News. “After all, the DOE has been a circus since 2002. But that circus was more like the one they had under Julius Caesar - teachers being fed to the lions, schools competing against each other to the death like gladiators, that sort of thing. And unlike the current Chancellor, this clown is a professional. In fact, it’s the first time a professional has been in charge of the DOE since Mayoral control began. So it may be a good thing.”

To bear out Dr. Runson’s optimism, the new Chancellor said he would finally address the issue of class size. In an exclusive interview, Mr. Mosshead said to GBN News, “You know that trick where dozens of people keep coming out of a little car that couldn’t possibly hold that many? Well, Joel Klein only knew how to do the first part of the trick, squeezing so many kids into the classrooms. But we’ve been doing that trick in the circus for years. We actually know how to get them out.”