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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mafia to Run NYC Charter School

May 27, 2010 (GBN News): The Mafia, which has recently taken an interest in funding innovations in education (GBN News report, April 30), will reportedly be opening a new themed charter high school in New York City this fall. The school will specialize in the study of criminology, from a non-traditional perspective.

A Mafia source described the program to GBN News as, “More vocational than academic.” The source went on to say that, “The kids will do a lot of hands-on learning, more ‘how to’ than theoretical. We guarantee that they’ll come out well-prepared for exciting jobs in the field, or else.”

J. Fredrick Runson, Dean of the Manhattan University School of Criminal Justice, is not surprised that the Mafia would want to run a charter school. “All those hedge fund guys are figuratively making a killing on charter schools,” he told GBN News. “The Mafia will do the same thing, only they can do it literally.”

Schools Chancellor Joel Klein told GBN News that he could not comment on the reported plans for the school, since “We’re in a delicate phase of plea bargaining – I mean, negotiations.” However, he did say that he is happy to work with any group that can run an effective charter school. “If they get good test scores,” he said, “Like any other charter school, we don’t care how they do it.”


richard barr said...

They will probably have a good athletic program ("swimming with the fishes") and some arts ("singing") as well. Not to mention a fine negotiations course ("making offers that can't be refused").

Dee Alpert said...

The Mob already owns and operates the NYCDOE's student transportation system. So why shouldn't they want to branch out?

Ms. Tsouris said...

The DOE itself operates JUST like the Mafia...outside the law. This spoof is closer to the truth than not.

Anonymous said...

This cannot be true, if the mob ran a school or the DOE or DOA Dead On Arrival, They would be far more efficient in all aspects. Joel Klein often makes offers You Can't Understand therefore you cannot refuse them. A take off from Mad Magazine?
Don Vito Minestone and his sons Micrin and Freako, Bloomberg is awarded the Hyman Roth character. Entitled the ODD FATHER.

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