February 11, 2012 (GBN News): In a stunning development, GBN News has learned that Education Secretary Arne Duncan’s signature “Race to the Top” program was originally conceived as a practical joke on President Obama. According to a source in the Education Department, the Secretary was merely looking to embarrass the President after a particularly humiliating loss on the basketball court.
Apparently, Mr. Duncan never really expected to carry the hoax quite as far as it went. But, the source told GBN News, “Practically every state in the Union bought into it hook, line and sinker. All sorts of bizarre stuff started happening: Every teacher in a high school gets fired in order to improve it; math teachers are evaluated on students’ English scores. You couldn’t make that stuff up. But with billionaires willing to back it, it just took on a life of its own.”
“The ironic thing,” the source added, “is that the President may get the last laugh. I think Obama has been on to this all along. Why else would he sound like he doesn’t even know his own Ed Department’s policy? He’s obviously feigning ignorance just to ruin the prank and turn it back on Duncan.”
When asked if this matter is likely to sour the relationship between the two men, the source said emphatically, “No way. Come on, it’s just two basketball buddies busting each other’s chops. I’m sure there are no hard feelings. After all, it’s not like their own kids are affected.”